


III of swords

by gh0steses



Category: BlazBlue
Genre: M/M, Oh Man I'm Sorry Y'all, or am i :3c?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 07:43:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15681036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0steses/pseuds/gh0steses
Summary: grief, painful separation, heartbreakAt least Ragna seems to be getting rest. Even if it isn't under the best of circumstances.





	III of swords

**Author's Note:**

> i kinda thought of the dialogue and then the rest followed suit rip all y'all's feelings. i wrote this in like 2 hours bear with me.  
> i may or may not add. a bit more

“Rise and shine, Ragna,” Celica says quietly as she peers into his room, frowning when she finds he doesn't seem to have moved since yesterday. Her shoulders slump. “I'm worried, Minerva. I know it's only been a few days, but he shouldn't just be laying there, right?” When Celica looks back at Minerva, she only shrugs. “Well, that’s not very helpful…”

She sneaks in, taking the untouched tray of food from the nightstand with a sigh and switching it with the lunch Minerva had been carrying. At least Ragna seems to be getting rest. Even if it isn't under the best of circumstances.

-

In the haziness that comes with waking up from sleeping for at least twelve hours uninterrupted, Ragna forgets what happened. Then he registers the lack of arms around him or even another presence in the room, let alone the house, and it hits him at full force. His chest tightens enough that it's hard for him to breathe as he pulls Kagura’s mantle around him tighter. Choked sobs burn the back of his throat and he buries his face in his pillow, curling into a tight ball around it. He wants to believe it wasn't real, that Kagura will come home and everything will be alright, but it's beyond clear that that isn't a possibility. The thought of Kagura trying to console him- playfully poking at him a little for crying so much in a way only he's allowed to (and he _would_ over this, even though he wouldn't for things of similar gravity,) while still holding him until he feels better- makes him cry harder, and being so accustomed to that comfort that he expects it only serves to make him feel worse. His anguished wail of Kagura’s name is muffled by the pillow as he holds it close. Anger swells within him, and isn't sure why. He wants to break something. Or scream until his throat is raw. But it dies just as quickly and all he has left in him is the need to cry himself back to sleep. He's slept much more than could be considered reasonable in the past three days, but he's still so tired. Grief is more demanding than he remembers. “Dumb bastard… Why'd you have to leave me here?” He pulls Kagura's mantle and the numerous blankets he accumulated at some point around him, but nothing alleviates the chill that comes from the hollow feeling in his chest after being bereaved of someone so irreplaceable. Hell, he has half a mind to go down to the cauldron in the depths of Kagura's branch- rather, what _used_ to be his branch- and throw himself in. Even if he truly wanted to, he doesn't have enough energy or motivation to take a step outside Kagura's home. Not seeing him at around here is bad enough, but the haunting emptiness of his office would be too much to bear. Kagura's presence had become such a constant in his life and, especially because of his isolation from being hunted down for so long, he's gotten slightly uncomfortable with being completely alone. Being stripped of that variable in his life is devastating. Especially when Kagura refused to let himself isolate himself further out of worry he'd lose it. He didn't fully realize it until now, but Kagura had instilled in him a need to be hopeful- something he thought naive when they met, but grew to admire about him; believing in the possibility of everything turning out alright,- but that part of him that he clung to, just for even the smallest semblance of comfort from having a piece of Kagura with him, is almost gone. There's nothing to hope for anymore. It has a dreadful air of finality, the last of the dirt cast over the coffin of Kagura’s memory. Claws drag down the side of Ragna's face, but he can't feel them; he doesn't even know it happened until he sees the traces of blood on his fingertips. He takes a deep breath to try and calm himself down, but all he can smell is Kagura and he's back in Kagura's arms, hurriedly being consoled before Kagura leaves and he falls apart.

Kagura's embrace had been so tight around him he felt something would end up broken by the time they parted, but he couldn't care. He was sure his grip was just as crushing and he never wanted Kagura to let go. Tears were already streaming down his face, and Kagura's breaths were choppy between murmured apologies and gentle kisses to his temple, serrated with his attempts to fend off his own urge to cry. He held Ragna for the barest of moments, but it felt like an eternity, yet, when Kagura pulled away, not nearly long enough.

_“Sweetheart, I… you have to let go.”_

Ragna hadn't even realized he was still firmly clinging to Kagura's waist, reluctantly relinquishing his grasp at Kagura's urging. The only thing he managed to say was to beg Kagura to stay, a final, futile plea for something he knew he couldn't have. He felt like a kid badgering his parents for something they couldn't afford. The immediate response he got was such a pained look you'd think he were the one dying instead. It made him feel so indescribably guilty his gaze dropped to the floor. He knew full well he shouldn't have done that.

_“I wish I could. Really. But- look at me.”_

Hands gently cradled Ragna's face, and the heartfelt look Kagura gave him _hurt_. A huge fist had closed around his chest and he could barely breathe; he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from hyperventilating.

_“I love you, Ragna. More than I can say. Don't ever forget that, alright? I'm doing this because I love you. I don't want you beating yourself up over it.”_

Thumbs had brushed at Ragna's tears, though they quickly proved too copious to simply wipe away. Somehow, it stung worse when Kagura called him by his name. He'd returned the sentiment, bringing one hand up to place it over Kagura's.

_“It'll be alright. You'll be okay.”_

Ragna wanted to argue, but he didn't have the heart. Not when Kagura's eyes squeezed shut and his brows drew inward, jaw clenching as he took a breath to keep his voice from wavering, even though it did when he looked at Ragna again and said,

_“I promise.”_

He'd leaned his forehead against Ragna's for a second until he quietly confessed that he'd miss him, to which Kagura replied with a kiss to his forehead, then, after undoing the buckle of his mantle and draping it over Ragna's shoulders, his lips.

_“I'll miss you too.”_

After one more kiss Kagura turned to leave, and Ragna sank to the ground, sobbing and clutching Kagura's mantle around him.

Ragna honestly doesn't know how he got home. Or how long ago that was, though it doesn't feel like it could be more than a week. Thinking about it has given him a headache, but he can't stop dwelling on it. Despite what he may have thought when they met, he'd never known Kagura to be a liar, so he feels a little betrayed, in retrospect, by how Kagura could say that everything would be fine. They both knew it wouldn't. Ragna knows it was a last ditch effort on Kagura's part to make him- or even himself- feel better, but right now it feels disingenuous. Not that it matters much, since Ragna can't hold anything against Kagura for doing what was technically right. Suddenly, he's engulfed by a wave of exhaustion, much stronger than earlier. Ragna can’t bring himself to resist it, nor does he want to, because at least being unconscious will keep his mind off things, so he lets sleep claim him.

**Author's Note:**

> man i got kinda upset even writing that im sorry y'all


End file.
